MIRRORS

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

It felt like he was asking me for the hundredth time- “No, honestly. I had a very late lunch so …”

The couple seated at the table behind him was having an animated conversation. The guy was fastening a chunky rock-star necklace around her neck. She must have been gleaming because although I could only see the back of her head, her cheeks were puffed up the way they do when we smile. He offhandedly whisked off a stray strand of hair off of her neck to fasten the clasp.

“shall we do that then? Next Friday?” –

I didn’t feel comfortable admitting that I had no clue what I was about to agree to do so I just nodded and said “yeah, why not”

“Okay so that’s out of the way. Now, what about that luncheon? I told them I’d bring you along too since Dave was also bringing Ashini”

Luncheon? I almost snorted out some mountain dew at the complete absurdity of that word. He worked in a tiny office with like, probably ten people and yet they referred to their lunch event as “The Luncheon”. Who even calls them Luncheons?! And “Dave”. Why couldn’t he just call himself Devinda? Or maybe even Dev. But Dave?!

He noticed my snort and grinned. “Yeah yeah, I can see the wheels in your head turning. You’re probably going ‘luncheon’ in your head”. I snorted again but couldn’t help smiling. I liked how easy it was with him. He never made me feel stupid or immature and he rarely got impatient.

The girl on the other table was leaning over and whispering something in the guy’s ear. He slowly nodded and let a lopsided smirk paint across his face. Plans for later? Flashbacks?Anecdotes? I suddenly noticed the elegance of her purple dress. Off shoulder, plain, coupled with two very small, very dainty ear studs and a small clutch. My peep toes matched her earrings perfectly.

“You said it was next next Tuesday right? I’ll check and let you know. I can probably drop in for like an hour. I have lectures in the afternoon too so I don’t think I’ll be able to stay for too long anyway”

There were many moments at the beginning of our relationship when I had wished that he was also studying with me. But within that first year I had also realized that I would have felt completely, unbelievably stifled had that been the case. I like the slow-paced, lazy nature of our relationship. At one point, graduation and the thought of having to make “proper” future plans scared me but I was finding myself feeling much better about it all now.

I could almost feel the shift of aura on the table behind. Something had changed. The girl’s posture looked different and the playful look on the guy’s face was lost.

“Okay cool. I’ll drop you off in time for class. Now, tell me how your day was” he was looking at me in this warm, concerned way that made me feel all mushy inside. I let him touch my hand, trying to encapture these rare moments.

The guy on that table seemed to be talking really fast. As far as my face-reading abilities go, I was fairly certain that they were having an intense conversation. Did she tell him that she was pregnant? Was that why he seemed to be struggling to be seated? He didn’t look angry though. Just, agitated I would say. He was holding her hand in what must have been a painful grip but he was also leaning half way across the table, trying to make sure she heard all of his turbojet engine words.

“Well, we had class in the morning. Then I went to town to get those application forms I told you of and then Ammi and I went to the mahana aunty’s place to get some jackets altered for the wedding next week and then..well, I came here to see you” I loved how big his eyes were and how silent he got when he was listening to me. His hands were always cold and comfortable. His thumb was gently drawing patters on the back of my hand.

“That’s nice. Oh by the way, my sister asked me to give you this” he said, turning towards his bag which was hanging on his chair. He drew out a small notebook and placed it in front of me.

“Anepau.Kohenda?”

“She had bought it last week at that book fair thing that we couldn’t go to. Said it looked like you”

“Ane…sweet. I’ll drop her a message”- The spiral binding of the notebook was transparent. It only had around 50 pages but the front cover was beautiful. It reminded me of the picture of ancient China that I must have drawn in my mind when I was younger. I caressed the designs with my fingers and felt them trace themselves on my skin.

The girl was now shaking. He looked completely lost but he was also starting to look angry. She shook away her hand from his grip feebly and placed it gently on her thigh. Or was it her lower stomach? Her hair had fallen all over her shoulders probably ‘coz her body was shaking. He kept looking at her with this look of utter disbelief. He flagged down a waiter and motioned for him to bring them the bill. The girl was now looking at the door on to her right and I could plainly see the tears tumbling down her face. She picked up her clutch and opened it to pull out a small compact. Opening it, she stared at the mirror for a while as if wondering how to fix things. It was the first time I saw her face. It somehow was not the face that I had imagined. She had small, almost beady looking eyes, a perfect button nose and a wide mouth that seemed to have been made for laughter. But the lips were pulled down and the lipstick was starting to look a little messy because of the tears. As she picked up a tissue and went to work fixing her face, I felt like for a moment, her eyes locked with mine and held them for a second before resuming work.

“Seriously, sweets, you do this all the time! You’re not listening. You haven’t heard anything I said have you… I just asked if you would like to share some ice cream with me here or if you want to go out to get something else.” He looked slightly annoyed but also sweetly concerned.

“Sorry, that couple behind you…ah nah” I mumbled. “Let’s share it. You like butterscotch right? Let’s take one portion and ask for two spoons” I reached out my hand to touch his stubble. It was one of those things that I did instinctively when I felt like I had upset him. It always worked almost instantly.

“Hmm”

The waiter had still not brought them the bill. The guy was clearly getting impatient and the girl was still staring at the mirror. She was no longer trying to fix herself. She was just staring at herself as if it was all new to her. But also as if it was too old for her to remember that well. He was saying something to her, almost spitting it out but she wouldn’t look up. She kept staring at the mirror. She tilted her head as if trying to see herself from a different angle. Then she held it there. He was still trying to get her attention but she seemed to be deaf to his words. We heard bits and pieces of what he was saying. “house”, “loans”, “why didn’t you”, “the hell”, “fuck off”. Almost all the people on the tables around them had started to look at them but the girl had no idea. She was lost in herself. Finally, he shot up and grabbed her arm. Just then the waiter came to whom he shoved a big note and dragged her outside. A grip like iron.

Nobody did anything. They just watched. Silently.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I passed that restaurant on my way home today. I wonder how that couple behind us is doing now. I hope they’re doing well. She looked younger but they seemed so sweet together. I remembered her shocked face when I looked into my mirror.

I automatically lifted up my arm to inspect the scar he left on it that day. A grip like iron.

 

About the author – Ruchini Abayakoon is a passionate writer from Kandy, Sri Lanka.